In December 2007, after months of consultations with my GP and putting up with stomach pain and loss of weight, My husband decided it was time to seek help elsewhere. He drove me in the middle of the night to our city Emergency Department to face my demons. Following a colonoscopy and gastroscopy, I was told the dreaded words "You have Stomach Cancer". The first thought that ran through my head was: how long have I got? I remember feeling calm as I looked over to my husband Jeff. His face had become very pale.

That night, I asked many questions, and over the next few weeks I went through all the different tests. Bone marrow biopsy, bloods, PET scan, CT scan, MRI. The biopsy from the stomach showed it was a rare MALT lymphoma and could be treated by drugs and chemo.

For the next month, the doctors took a “wait and see” approach.  They placed me on antibiotics and I spent Christmas not knowing what the future would hold,  In February, after another gastroscopy, they found that the cancer “loved” the antibiotics.  It had spread significantly throughout my stomach, taking me from a low grade to a faster-growing high grade cancer.  The next move was a CAT scan to map out my stomach. I was then given four minuscule tattoos as reference markers for the radiation treatment.  I then commenced four weeks of daily radiation.  I felt like I was burning from the inside out after each session. But thankfully, it worked.  Three months later, in May I went into remission.  The cancer had been successfully killed off.

Then a hiccup occurred.  In June, I found a lump on the left side of my neck.  Back I went to my doctor.  Another battery of tests.  By mid-July, part of the lump was removed from my neck and the biopsy confirmed that I had developed a more aggressive type of cancer known as a “large diffuse B cell lymphoma”.  In August, I began chemotherapy R-CHOP14.  It was a scary time, I was frequently nauseous. I had loss of taste, blisters in my mouth and on my lips and I kept forgetting things. The drugs administered to me made constipated, dizzy and I lost my appetite for food and consequently more weight loss.  The loss of body hair made me feel very self conscious of my body image.  Thank goodness for the wig it made me feel normal to the public eye.  I used all my willpower to be strong and positive to help my body rebuild itself. All along I had a lot of support from my friends and family.  It was amazing and it helped a great deal.  However, I was disappointed to discover that some friends were scared off by my condition and failed to remain in contact.

After two months, the treatment was finally over.  In the last week in October 2008, I was back in remission.  I continued for another month on fortnightly Mabthera IV treatment, to kill off any stray cancer cells that might have been floating around my body.

Today, I am still in remission.  However, the chemo did affect my immune system badly and I ended up with Hypogammaglobulinanemia.  Presently, I am having monthly IV Intragam Therapy to treat this condition. This treatment rebuilds the immune system.   It makes me nauseous and I get a little stomach, abdomen and bone pain. along with tiredness.  However, I have remained very positive and I am coping very well.

I (Rosie) am a music student studying “Simply Music”, a course that thinks outside the square.  I had found that immersing myself in learning music was the best medicine for me.  It took me to another world were I could disassociate my cancer pain and any other discomforts from my various treatments. I can recommend music therapy as a effective adjunct to medical treatment.

One evening in 2008, the music to this song came to me.  Then, on June 1st 2009, the words of the first verse ran through my mind.  I dearly wanted to ring the hospital where Mal was and play it to her.  But I couldn’t bring myself to do it.  It wasn’t finished.  It wasn’t ready.  She passed away the next morning.

In 2010 the song was completed, but I always wished I had called her that night and shared the first part of the song with her.  I guess my message to others out there is that you should never wait to tell someone how much they mean to you.  Don’t even wait one day.

I hope by producing this song, it will help anyone suffering from a loss to move on and find peace.

My dear friend Marilyn was diagnosed with breast cancer in July 2000.  She subsequently had surgery to remove part of her breast, followed by chemotherapy and radiation.  She went into remission for eight years.  But, in January 2008 whilst supporting me in my predicament , she was diagnosed with Uterine Serous Papillary Carcinoma.  She under went chemotherapy again.  This brought her cancer marker blood tests back to normal levels, but in August the cancer had returned aggressively and she was informed that her condition was terminal.  As we went through our different regimes of treatment, we continually supported each other.  It was difficult at times as we both lived many thousand kilometers away in different states.  Mal lived in Queensland and I live in Tasmania.  Thank goodness for Skype.  It allowed Mal and I to video conference each other without great cost.   With a cup of tea in hand we would talk openly of our concerns.  Mal was always beautifully presented and we always made sure our wigs were on straight when Skyping each other.  I always made Mal laugh when I told her of my embarrassing moments concerning my wayward wig.

Towards the end of the year she was offered palliative chemotherapy, but declined because it would affect the quality of her life for the next few months.  After returning from trips to New Zealand and then Europe in December and January 2009, she decided to commence the palliative chemotherapy, but after two sessions she was not able to continue with it.  She passed away on the 2nd june 2009.